The key to Peloton instructor Cody Rigsby's success: 'Self-deprecation is my motto'

Take a Peloton cycling class with instructor Cody Rigsby and your legs will tire as beads of sweat gather for a kiki on your forehead. But stopping is out of the question, because then you’d miss out on the former dancer’s words of encouragement − “We’re not gonna settle. … Settling gets you an ugly boyfriend” − and hilarious musings about everything from the best restaurant bread to the most talented member of NSYNC.

Rigsby memorably wrote off Olive Garden breadsticks as “the bottom of the totem pole” during one ride and anointed Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits as the supreme dining-out carbohydrate offering. They share a pedestal with JC Chasez of NSYNC and “our dear lord and savior” Britney Spears, to whom Rigsby dedicated his first book, “XOXO, Cody: An Opinionated Homosexual's Guide to Self-Love, Relationships, and Tactful Pettiness,” out Tuesday.

For the title, Rigsby borrowed from a Peloton series in which he doles out advice to members who have written in. Similar in tone to his unfiltered classes, Rigsby says nothing was off the table for his book. The pages capture his sense of humor, as well as a vulnerability as he candidly recalls heavier moments of his life: his impoverished upbringing, his mom’s drug addiction, anxiety over coming out, and the loss of his best friend, Oscar, to alcoholism in 2020.

Rigsby mourns his best friend, finds power in coming out

Writing about his friend brought out the most emotion.

Check out: USA TODAY's weekly Best-selling Booklist

“That grief has never gone completely away, and I don't think it ever will,” he says. ”There were a lot of tears when I was writing that part of it. But there was also a lot of joy. … I'm really in a good place now where when I feel his presence or his spirit, it always evokes a lot of joy and happiness. Even if I'm crying, it's happy tears."

Rigsby also cried when he came out to his mother at age 19 in their kitchen. “I was scared to take the plunge and sad that I was still in hiding,” he writes in the book. “For me, the tears were an emotional release more than anything. I’d been holding something inside for years, and to finally let it out to the most important person in my life was a huge relief.”

It was also a sense of freedom, he says.

“I think a lot of a gay person's life, we are battling these feelings and emotions that feel really right in our own self, but we have all these external influences telling us that we're wrong, and that we're bad,” Rigsby says. “I think that what we gain is ... a sense of not carrying a burden of other people’s expectations or opinions about ourselves. And I think it makes us really strong, and we go into the world really powerfully.”

Watch:Richard E. Grant discusses 'A Pocketful of Happiness' with USA TODAY's Book Club

Rigsby finds his 'flat road' at Peloton

Peloton members may also be interested in how Rigsby found his footing as a self-described “instructor/entertainer,” which he acknowledges “took a lot of time.”

People “forget that I've been there for nine years and had this six-year runway to be messy, figure it out, make mistakes, not know who I am,” he says. “I think so much of why people relate to me is because I'm not afraid to say: ‘Hey, I'm struggling.’ ‘Hey, I'm a mess.’ ‘Here's some stupid (stuff) that I did.’ Self-deprecation is my motto. I think when I can make fun of myself, people feel like they are invited into the space.”

Before the end of each class, Rigsby sends his riders off with a pep talk typically emphasizing the need to overlook imperfections and really embrace the belief that they are enough. It’s a reminder Rigsby needs from time to time, too.

“The other day, I literally had to be like: ‘Wait a minute. You have your (stuff) together. People want to read this book. You are far more than capable of doing press. You've done it before. I immediately shut down all the negative thoughts and reminded myself of how incredible I can be, and it really calmed my nerves. I was like, ‘OK, I'm good.’”

Put him on a Cheddar Bay Biscuit, because he’s on a roll.

Purchases you make through our links may earn us and our publishing partners a commission.

• "XOXO, Cody: An Opinionated Homosexual's Guide to Self-Love, Relationships, and Tactful Pettiness" at Amazon for $23
• "XOXO, Cody: An Opinionated Homosexual's Guide to Self-Love, Relationships, and Tactful Pettiness" at Bookshop.org for $25

'DWTS' recap:COVID-19 keeps Cheryl Burke, Cody Rigsby out of ballroom, but not competition

Julianne Hough to replaceTyra Banks as host on 'Dancing with the Stars'